Kristy: Do you want waffles for breakfast?
Don: No, but Jacob will.
Kristy: Jacob hasn’t been here to visit since last Thanksgiving.
Kristy: Do you want to watch golf or NASCAR?
Don: NASCAR.
3 Hours later.
Kristy: Do you want to switch to college football or back to golf?
Don: I’m watching NASCAR.
Kristy: The race was over 1/2 an hour ago.
Don: I can see them racing right across the street.
Kristy: That’s the Pacific Ocean, not a race track.
He tilts his head around me as if looking out the window.
Don: Yeah, I can see them from here.
I turn on golf and leave the room. We are both trying to forget the Oregon State lights-out by Oregon football game.
Kristy: Why are you standing in the middle of the living room where we tore it apart to remove the rug you trashed?
Don: I need to go through my briefcase?
Kristy: The only room with extra space right now is your bedroom. Can’t you sift through the briefcase in there where I turned on the Seahawks game as you requested?
Kristy: Do you want to eat the remainder of your taquitos?
Don: No, you can give them to the cats. They tasted good, though.
Kristy: If they tasted good, why don’t you finish?
Don: The cats are hungry.
Kristy: Whatever!
Don: Do you see my truck in the driveway?
Kristy: Yes.
Don: Those guys across the street have been driving it around the block. They are going to run out of gas.
Kristy: Well, I guess if they run out of gas, they won’t be driving it around the block anymore.
Don: Can you help me with my pants?
Kristy: Let’s just change into pants that fit better. These won’t stay up and you have them on backwards.
Don: That’s because they should have 4 more drawstrings. Some are missing.
Kristy: In what universe did you live that uses 6 drawstrings in a pair of sweatpants?
I take Don some blueberries to eat. I find him laying half on the bed, one leg propped up on a nightstand and the other leg dangling off the side of the bed. I leave the berries on a table near his recliner, thinking he will get up and sit in the chair before eating. I return later to find him slightly contorted on the bed, just enough that one arm can reach the berries.
Don: I need some pain medication. My ribs are killing me.
Kristy: You don’t say.
Don: Are you serious about watching the NASCAR race today?
Kristy: Are you seriously asking me that question on a Sunday?
Don: I can’t wait to have a big bowl of cereal for breakfast.
Kristy: It’s 1:30 p.m. in the afternoon. You are going to be waiting for a long time. Would you like a bowl of cereal now?
Don: If it’s breakfast time.
Kristy: Yeah, OK.
Don: Do you have cash? I need to get gas for the truck.
Kristy: You don’t have a driver’s license anymore, so you can’t drive. Therefore, you don’t need money for gas.
Don: How will I get to school?
Kristy: School? What school? You are a few months away from your 74th birthday. How many 74 year-olds do you know that go to school? Does that even make sense?
Don: No, I guess not.
Kristy: Then why do we have to have this conversation every week?
Note to Self: There have been over 100 weeks, just like this one, and still counting.