There is a fine line between constipation and can’t-run-fast-enough to the bathroom. Especially with sedentary people. It’s called regularity. Forget Miralax, Metamucil, or anything else with all the easy and wonderful benefits they advertise. For a onetime cost of $24.99, you can get Squatty Potty instead. Who knew?
I live with a man who sometimes doesn’t know right from left, forward or backward or up and down. It takes extra time for him to process that information. So, let me get this straight. This man, who moves slower than a sloth, needs to ditch the red cane, take an extra 5 minutes, or more, to grab the squatty potty device, place it by the toilet, get both feet on board without falling off, turn around, lower his britches with one hand and hope he lands on or near the toilet, all before the gig is over? He will need a lot more rehab and a refresher course on the Hokey Pokey before that happens.
Maybe they can add this kind of challenge to Special Olympics as an indoor event of either a 1, 3 or 5-yard dash. That starting block, however, will be a killer. Don can get some silky speedo briefs, and I can get a stopwatch and start training.
Note to Self: First, we need to establish some rules on cheating.
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