One of Don and Hunter’s favorite sports takes shape with the Masters airing today. I join in when I can. Today I’m involved in NASCAR fantasy racing, so Don is watching the golf tournament in his top-floor, ocean-view ensuite accommodations. I hear him shuffling into the kitchen, where he is no longer allowed after an enchilada explosion that took forever to clean up.
Kristy: Are you hunting down some lunch? Chicken and dumplings on the stove that Gigi left for you.
Don: No, I need to get downstairs.
Kristy: Sorry, the gate is there to prevent you from navigating stairs for a reason. What is downstairs that you need?
Don: Plane.
Kristy: A plane?
Don: No, I’m playing.
He starts aggressively pushing and pulling on the safety gate.
Kristy: Playing what?
Don: Golf.
Kristy: Let’s get you settled back in your recliner where you can watch the Masters tournament on TV.
He uses his one octave lower, stern and businesslike voice to tell me …
Don: Well, excuse me if I’m in the middle of a golf game! I need to go downstairs!
Kristy: Well, excuse me, but your golf clubs are in Mexico with mine.
Don: I know.
Note to Self: I missed 40 laps of the race, but I’m so glad we got the golfing issue straightened out. Next time, and there will be a next time, a change in volumn and verbage will be coming out of my mouth.
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