This morning I find Don sitting up and staring at a blank TV screen. Behind his recliner chair are Cocoa Puffs all over the carpet. I had to move closer to confirm, as I didn’t have my glasses on.
Kristy: Are these Cocoa Puffs?
Don: Yeah, Cocoa Puffs.
Kristy: On the floor?
Don: Yeah.
Kristy: Why did you leave this mess on the floor?
Don: Can you turn on the Golf channel?
Kristy: Can you pick up the Cocoa Puffs?
I leave the room to take the kitchen garbage out while it’s not raining. When I return, I find Don in front of the open food pantry wanting to know where is the bathroom? I instruct him to turn around, walk 3 steps back into his bedroom, turn right, go another 3 steps into the bathroom.
Don: OK, bathroom on the right.
That reminds me of when Creedence Clearwater Revival recorded the song “Bad Moon Rising”. Instead of the original lyrics, “there’s a bad moon on the rise”, I thought it went “there’s a bathroom on the right”. Thank goodness I only sang it loud and proud in my car by myself.
Speaking of singing loud and proud in the car, when Jillian was 16, we rotated carpooling with 2-3 other parents to get 4-5 kids to driving school a couple hours away from home in the evenings. During one of my rotations, I had Jillian in front with me and 3 boys in the back seat. When the Garth Brooks song “Shameless” came on the radio or from a cassette, one of those boys belted out “I’m shaving” instead of the correct lyrics, “I’m shameless”. There was total silence by the rest of us in the car as we let the singer continue to make sure we heard him right. Anyone who knows Jillian can tell you that when that girl laughs, the entire world starts laughing. She has an unmistakable and contagious laugh. I don’t remember who said what first, but the laugh was hot on the heels of the poor kid in the back seat getting corrected by his peers. Then it was nonstop, shameless chatter and laughter, all the way home.
Note to Self: At least I’m not the only one who gets song lyrics wrong. With quirky songs back in the day like “Muscrat Love”, “Convoy”, “Kung Fu Fighting”, “Walk Like an Egyptian” and “Do Wah Diddy Diddy”, not all of them made sense. Original lyrics were optional.
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