Author: Jensen

  • The Fish Peddler

    One of the local hotspots for clam chowder is called The Fish Peddler. With Mr. Fixit and Uncle Gianni on the way to help me with some chores at home, we decide to meet and have a seafood dinner at The Fish Peddler. I take Don and we make a third trip to town in…

  • Don Cold

    There is cold and then there’s Don cold.  Summer in our beach house has its wonderful moments. Like many other homes on the north Oregon coastline, we do not have air conditioning. For a few months a year, we swear installation of something to provide comfort will take place before next summer. Here we are…

  • Sasquatch Services

    An elder to Sasquatch has been living in my home for about 6 months. I say elder because the fur is white. I think a male human is still living in there somewhere. Time to find out. Don has dismantled all equipment, at home, that was even remotely eligible for hair cutting, mustache trimming or…

  • Truffling

    Morning coffee and a BS session with the boys, Mr. Fixit and Uncle Gianni, turned Don into an absolute jackass the minute they left to run errands. They left me with a fight on my hands to keep Don off the gate and on the top floor. I’m talking, pushing and shoving me away as…

  • Summertime Caretaker Blues

    Some people say them caretaker blues ain’t all sadSome people say them caretaker blues ain’t so badFor her, it’s all string and glueFor him, he has no clueThey both be hopin’ for a Code Blue She has no place to run and hideWhen he’s got daily complaints that chap his hideFor her, it’s all string…

  • Random Stranger

    I rush to Safeway to pick up several waiting prescriptions for both me and Don. If we don’t collect them soon enough, the pharmacy staff puts them back on the shelf and you get to start over. I figured I could wait to eat lunch when I returned home. A week before July 4th and…

  • Dingleberry Duty

    Personal hygiene is a daily struggle with Don. His former self would be horrified at what he currently shrugs off as not important. Trust me, mister, it’s important. A man who has struggled with psoriasis most of his adult life cannot afford to ignore good skin care. My advice is ignored. His go-to excuse changes…

  • Swirling Slides

    Mr. Fixit: Good Morning.  Don: Where did you sleep?  Mr. Fixit: Downstairs.  Don: I was swirling my way down on a slide to those bedrooms.  Kristy: Did you dream this journey down a swirling slide?  Don: No, it was real.  Kristy: What a thrill so early in the day.  Don: My shoes don’t fit, and…

  • I Want To Go Home

    At 11:30 p.m., I hear Don making noise in the direction of the kitchen, which is off limits for him. I intervene.  Kristy: What are you looking for? Don: I need a ride home.  I descend the stairs from my office, sitting down on the step that puts me closest to Don’s eye level. His feet…

  • Boat Keys

    I start my day by entering the Don Chamber. I discover my jewelry dragged out of a dresser drawer, where I store it, and scattered all over the room.  Kristy: What are you looking for? Don: All those keys to the boat.  Kristy: Where is the boat? Don: You are standing in it.  Kristy: This…