Golf for The Masters

One of Don and Hunter’s favorite sports takes shape with the Masters airing today. I join in when I can. Today I’m involved in NASCAR fantasy racing, so Don is watching the golf tournament in his top-floor, ocean-view ensuite accommodations. I hear him shuffling into the kitchen, where he is no longer allowed after an enchilada explosion that took forever to clean up.

Kristy: Are you hunting down some lunch? Chicken and dumplings on the stove that Gigi left for you.

Don: No, I need to get downstairs.

Kristy: Sorry, the gate is there to prevent you from navigating stairs for a reason. What is downstairs that you need?

Don: Plane.

Kristy: A plane?

Don: No, I’m playing.

He starts aggressively pushing and pulling on the safety gate.

Kristy: Playing what?

Don: Golf.

Kristy: Let’s get you settled back in your recliner where you can watch the Masters tournament on TV.

He uses his one octave lower, stern and businesslike voice to tell me …

Don: Well, excuse me if I’m in the middle of a golf game! I need to go downstairs!

Kristy: Well, excuse me, but your golf clubs are in Mexico with mine.

Don: I know.

Note to Self: I missed 40 laps of the race, but I’m so glad we got the golfing issue straightened out. Next time, and there will be a next time, a change in volumn and verbage will be coming out of my mouth.

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