Bonkers

Weather is beautiful on this Saturday of Easter weekend. If I could hear worth a hill of beans, I’m sure I would hear birds chirping. Spring has, hopefully, arrived. We are all fed up with constant rain and dreary forecasts.

I hit the top floor and find Don seated at the kitchen table in a chair not usually his preferred location. He has surrounded himself with a few bowls of cereal, water, an empty container of sugar, several utensils, and a few paper towels.

Don: Out of sugar.

Kristy: 10-4. Can I take these dirty dishes?

Don: Where’s the sugar?

I ignore the question as he’s behaving like a tapped out junkie needing a quick fix. I drop off the dirty dishes in the sink and grab a clean bowl for myself out of the cupboard. I fill up the bowl with a granola type cereal and locate an unopened bag of sugar. I fill the empty sugar container for Don. The cats are doing the “feed-me” dance right under my feet, so I pause on my own breakfast.

Don rises from the table. While securing an opened can of left over cat food, I notice the crotch of Don’s sweatpants is hanging almost to his knees. He tries to walk and the bulk between his legs comes to life like it has a separate heartbeat. He stops to steady up with the help of a chair. I can see where the momentum of the added baggage could hamper forward progress for any of us, but is a danger to someone of Don’s limited physical abilities. I go to investigate.

Kristy: What do we have here?

I move a hand towards the out-of-the-normal bulge of junk. He beats me to it, waving off any interference.

Don: I’m good.

Kristy: Something doesn’t look right. Let’s change your clothes.

Don knows the drill and starts kicking off slippers. I help him get out of his sweats and disposable underwear. I discover the problem. Who knew a pair of wet underwear could weigh more than a small bag of dry cat food? I clean him up and go about gathering up dirty clothes and discard garbage. I get clean clothes from his closet and head back to the kitchen.

During my absence, Don commandeers not only the refilled container of sugar but my bowl of cereal as well. I find him enjoying a 3rd bowl for his breakfast that is now looking more like an all-you-can-eat buffet. I guess, any item of food left unattended in plain view is fair game.

I get another bowl for myself and fill it with cereal, not letting go of the bowl. After adding milk, I take the first spoon full and gag. The milk is room temperature. Oh, man, that’s just all kinds of wrong! This is one of the key ingredients that drives me ………….

Note to Self: Where’s Uber Eats or DoorDash when you urgently need them?

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