Big Butts

March 14, 2024

I join Don at the kitchen table for a breakfast of cinnamon French toast. One of his favorites. 

Kristy: Now that it’s been more than a week since I fell down the front porch stairs, I am getting some feeling back in the left side of my backside. At least I can touch that area without as much pain. I have recently discovered something new besides the bruising and numbness. I am sorry to report my butt is big enough to house 2 separate contusions on the left side alone. It is still incredibly difficult to find a comfortable sitting position in any chair. It requires a pillow and frequent and painful shifting from side to side. 

Don: Are you using the arthritis cream that I use? 

Kristy: I think I need chiropractic adjustments as I’m sure vertebrae and ribs are not in their correct upright and locked positions. It makes it harder than necessary to get anything done on my computer. 

Don: I’m thinking hot & spicy stuffed peppers for breakfast this weekend. 

Kristy: Are you serious? You know that won’t work for me. If you are still getting heartburn, I don’t recommend it for you either. Especially for breakfast. 

Don: Oh, yeah, that’s right. 

We both leave the kitchen table when finished. I gather up his water glass, set it down by his recliner chair and turn on the TV. As I straighten out his blanket on the recliner chair to cover him up after he is seated, he points at the chair and asks, “Oh, were you sitting here”?

Note to Self: He must now think I’m the hired caregiver and not the wife he had breakfast with less than 90 seconds ago.

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