Talk To The Butt

I never know for sure what I will find each morning when I open the bedroom door to Don’s world. Today I find him draped over his recliner chair like a limp dishrag. Face down, legs gnarled up, one slipper on and one flipped upside down, arms hugging each armrest, and the butt is the highest body part that, of course, is the first thing spotted by the untrained eye. He had the wherewithal to grab 2 pillows from the bed, resting under his head. I guess that’s when all physical strength and common sense went on vacation. I start communicating with the butt. 

Kristy: Comfortable?

Talking Butt: Not at all. 

Kristy: You are already on your knees. Hard part should be over. Go ahead and try to stand up. 

Talking Butt: The chair will tip over. 

Kristy: Use the up/down buttons to lower the footrest first. 

Talking Butt: It smashed my hand.

I walk around to the back of the chair where I can get closer to the buttons as his left arm and hand are literally hovering over the buttons on the front side. The chair responds perfectly to the application of pressure. A whole new transformation takes the place and up pops the head from the strategically placed pillows. 

Kristy: Use your cane to help get you to your feet. 

Don: The chair will tip over. 

Kristy: I guarantee there will be no tipping over and no smashed hand or fingers. 

He gets up, turns around and flops backward in the chair as if it was his last dying breath. His alignment is not quite right, so I use the buttons again, hiding under his left hand, and the chair slowly raises him to a near standing position. 

Kristy: OK, let’s try again. 

Don: Oh yeah, much better. I tried, and the chair was ready to tip backwards. 

Kristy: I guess you need breakfast after all that exertion?

Don: You better believe it. That Pepsi wasn’t enough, but it sure tasted good. 

I hold a cold can of Pepsi up that was sitting right next to his phone. He acknowledges that’s the one. 

Kristy: It’s not open. How did it taste so good when it’s not open? 

I get the one shoulder shrug. 

Cold can of Pepsi tells me he wasn’t in dire need of help for very long.  

Note to Self: Did that talking butt stage this whole thing?


Comments

One response to “Talk To The Butt”

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    Anonymous

    Jensen’s writing is heartfelt, raw and provides a temporary window into her world as a Spousal Caregiver. Knowing her and Don personally, her posts give me a glimpse into her daily world. Its often difficult for me to “like” a post because of the sadness I feel knowing how drastically their life has changed. With that being said, I have always enjoyed Jensen’s writings and look forward to reading each new post.

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